How to Quickly Discover Your Purpose: Find Your Life's Mission Through Childhood Experiences

It happened in the hazy realm between sleep and wakefulness, a dream within a dream that unfolded like a hidden message from my subconscious.

In my sleep, I got this very clear message - my desire to help families going through divorce stems from my childhood need to be more supported, seen, and loved after my parents' divorce. And that my life's purpose is based on my largest unmet childhood need. Eventually, I woke up, and the dream lingered, its message echoing in my mind.

I've always been passionate about helping families navigate the challenges of divorce, especially supporting children through those turbulent transitions. But that dream helped me understand why.

It was a powerful revelation. I realized that my work wasn't just another career; it was a calling, a way to heal my own childhood wounds by helping others navigate theirs.

The most important aspect of this insight was that I could help others figure out their purpose by helping them find their largest unmet need.

The "Do," the "Who," and the "Why" Technique

This insight inspired me to create a coaching technique that helps others discover their purpose. It’s rooted in the idea that our passions and motivations are intricately tied to our personal histories—especially the unmet needs we felt during childhood.

By exploring the Do, the Who, and the Why, we can uncover powerful insights into what drives us and how we can align our actions with our life’s purpose. Here’s how it works:

1. Identify the "Do": What activities or pursuits light you up? Seeing what kind of feeling or getting what kind of reaction from others makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside? For me, it’s guiding people through challenging times, specifically helping families navigate difficult transitions like divorce or remarriage. I feel warm and fuzzy inside, when I see that I made someone feel supported and empowered.

2. Define the "Who": Who are you doing this for? Who do you want to help or impact? In my case, families in transition, especially children and parents, trying to rebuild stability and connection.

3. Explore the "Why": What need or desire does this activity fulfill for you? What are you trying to express or achieve through it? My "why" is rooted in healing—by supporting others, I fill the void I once felt as a child and help others find the love and understanding they need.

   
   

For example, if you’re drawn to creating art, ask yourself: What am I trying to express? Who is my audience? Who do I want to see my work, and why does it matter? Maybe you’re showing your joy, your pain, or your growth. The answer often points to a deeper personal truth.

Or imagine you’re passionate about teaching. What do you want to teach people? Who are you teaching? Perhaps you’re drawn to working with children because you want to give them the guidance and encouragement you craved growing up. Or maybe it’s adults seeking career growth, and your "why" is rooted in your journey of overcoming obstacles and achieving success.

Another example might be someone who wants to save others. What do you want to save them from? Who is it that you really want to save? What need does it fulfill for you? Perhaps you want to save others because, as a child, you felt powerless when someone dear to you couldn't be saved. Or maybe it was you that needed saving. Your "why" could be tied to regaining that sense of control and protecting people from which you or a loved one needed to be protected.

By asking these questions, we begin to uncover our authentic motivations. It’s a journey of self-discovery, healing, and aligning our actions with our soul’s true purpose.

So, are you ready to find your purpose? To embrace the life that aligns with your deepest truths?

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Discovering who I am