Some of us vowed to never leave. Some of us vowed to never be left. Both vows come from the same wound, and both lead to the same place: abandoning yourself to avoid abandonment.

January has always felt like a starting gun going off, whether I'm ready or not. This year, I didn't follow the familiar urge to plan, optimize, and sprint. I exhaled instead.

I treated my trauma like a renovation project. Then I stopped trying to fix myself and my abandonment wound and just sat with it. The relief was physical.