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I was erased for the first time in fifth grade. It happened again and again over the years, and each time I ran the same script. It took decades, and one final breaking point, to realize it was never about me, but my response always was.

The average person spends nearly 700 hours a year living inside unresolved conflict patterns. That's not just the big blowups. It's the 3am argument replay, the "I'm fine" you didn't mean, the friendship losing air, the family dinner where you become a different person. If you've ever felt like you know exactly what you should do and still can't stop doing the other thing, this is for you.

We chose our partners. Our kids didn't get a vote. And then we expected everyone, including ourselves, to just be fine with it. Here's what therapy taught me this week.