Why Do I Keep Repeating the Same Patterns? I Asked a Psychic. Then I Built Something Better.

The magic of human intuition combined with the power of technology and science

If you've ever caught yourself in the same argument, the same dynamic, the same stuck place for what feels like the hundredth time, you've probably asked yourself some version of this question: Why do I keep repeating the same patterns, even when I can see them clearly?

I have a degree in molecular biology. I spent over a decade in corporate communications at Google and Intuit. I have a graduate degree focused on conflict resolution and negotiation. I am, by most reasonable definitions, a rational person — which is exactly why what happened next surprised me.

I went to a psychic.

I showed up the way most skeptics do it: half-curious, half-defensive, fully prepared to be unimpressed. I sat down expecting vague generalities dressed up as insight, but what I got instead was specific, uncomfortable, and accurate in ways that made me go very quiet for a very long time.

She described my conflict patterns with impressive precision. She told me about my exhausting cycle of over-explaining myself to people who were never going to understand me, no matter how perfectly I phrased it, and about the weight of carrying responsibility for everyone around me, their feelings, their outcomes, their perception of me, as if that were my job and my fault all at once. She told me that one of my main lessons in life was to learn to let go of unrealistic expectations of others.

She wasn't telling me anything I didn't already know somewhere deep down. She was reflecting back patterns I had spent years trying to understand through therapy, through self-help books, through every assessment tool I could get my hands on, like the Enneagram, the MBTI, attachment theory frameworks, and pretty much anything else you can think of. All of them had pointed in the same direction and named versions of the same thing, but she named it in about forty minutes, without a questionnaire, and with a specificity that made me feel simultaneously seen and slightly ambushed.

I left that session with this question: how is that possible, and can it be replicated in a way I can actually trust?

Why We Keep Repeating the Same Patterns

Here's what I started to understand: knowing about a pattern and being able to see it from multiple angles at the same time are completely different experiences.

I already knew I over-explained. I already knew I took on too much responsibility. I already knew I froze then fawned in conflict. Understanding these things intellectually hadn't shifted them. What was missing for me was the depth of recognition.

That's what led me to start looking at what all these frameworks — the Enneagram, MBTI, astrology, Human Design, and yes, even the psychic — were actually doing beneath the surface. And what I found was that they're all mapping the same territory through different languages. Some use personality archetypes. Some use planetary movements as a metaphor. Some use energetic blueprints rooted in ancient wisdom traditions. Some use self-reported behavioral tendencies. Different maps, same territory.

What struck me, the molecular biologist in me, the researcher, the skeptic, was the convergent validity. When multiple independent systems, using completely different methodologies, point to the same patterns in a person, that's not a coincidence. That's a signal worth paying attention to.

My conflict-avoidant attachment patterns showed up in my Enneagram results, in my astrological chart, in my Human Design reading, in what the psychic said, and most painfully and most usefully, in my actual life, in the same stuck places I kept finding myself at no matter how much I thought I'd moved on. Seeing it reflected back from that many angles simultaneously made the pattern stop feeling like a character flaw and start feeling like a map. And maps, unlike flaws, can be worked with.

What I Built From That Realization

That question — can this be replicated in a more rigorous, repeatable way? — sent me down a path that ended, much faster than I expected, with what I now call Pattern Synthesis Coaching.

I use technology to synthesize insights across multiple ancient and modern frameworks using the exact time and location of one's birth, then look for convergence — the patterns that show up across systems, the themes that repeat, the places where different maps point to the same territory. Then I sit with a real human being in a real conversation, and we explore what those patterns actually mean for the specific situation, decision, or stuck place they brought to the session.

There are no predictions, no mystical pronouncements, no requirement that you believe in any of the underlying systems for the work to be useful. What there is: a level of pattern recognition that cuts through the noise faster than most approaches I've encountered, because when the same pattern gets reflected back to you from five different angles simultaneously, something shifts in a way that pure analysis rarely achieves on its own.

That's what I want for the people I work with. Not a conversion to mysticism. Just the clarity that comes when the noise finally stops, and the pattern becomes undeniable enough that you can actually do something with it.

If you're tired of asking yourself why you keep repeating the same patterns and want to explore what Pattern Synthesis Coaching looks like in practice, book a session.

Skeptics especially welcome.